Connor Wickham ya yi magana da gaskiya game da watanni 18 da ya shafe ba tare da kulob ba bayan ya bar Charlton a bazara ta 2024 — wani lokaci da ya kwatanta a matsayin ɗaya daga cikin mafi wahalar lokuta a aikinsa na ƙwallon ƙafa.

Dan wasan gaba mai shekara 33, wanda ya yi hira da Sky Sports yana tuƙi a babbar hanyar M1 bayan mako ɗaya na horon PFA kafin kakar wasa, ya yarda cewa kallon ƙwallon ƙafa daga waje ya zama kusan abin da ba zai yiwu a jure ba.

"Na kai ga wani matakin da ba zan iya jure kallo ƙwallon ƙafa ba domin na sani zan iya yin abin da nake ganin wasu suna yi. Ya zama kamar wani zaman azaba, kusan kamar kishi. Ina so in buga wasa, ina shirye, ina da ƙarfin jiki, zan iya yi."

Aiki da raunin ya kauce wa hanya

Labarin Wickham ya dawo shekaru goma da suka wuce. Wata uku cikin kakarsa ta biyu a Crystal Palace — bayan ya zo daga Sunderland da £9m a bazara ta 2015 — ya jiɓinci gindi na gwiwarsa a wani rashin nasara 5-4 a Premier League a filin Swansea. Tsakanin ranar 26 Nuwamba 2016 da ranar Kirsimeti 2018, ya bayyana sau ɗaya kawai a matsayin wanda ya maye gurbi, yayin da matsaloli suka biyo bayan juna.

"Ina ci gaba sosai a wannan lokaci," ya ce. "Komai na fara haɗuwa sosai. Ina kusantar kololuwar ƙarfina. Lokacin da wannan ya faru, ya girgiza ni — kuma gyaran lafiya bai taimaka sosai ba. Da ban ji wannan rauni ba, ina tsammanin tafarkin da zan bi da ya zama daban-daban sosai."

An ba shi aro ga Sheffield Wednesday a kakar 2019/20 kuma ya rasa dukan kakar 2020/21 saboda rauni kafin Crystal Palace ta saki shi. Gajerun zaman Preston, MK Dons, Forest Green, Cardiff, da Charlton sun biyo baya kafin tsawon lokaci ba tare da kulob ba wanda ya kai shi mafi ƙarancin lokaci.

Matsalolin rayuwa da kiyaye imani

Wickham ya bayyana cewa yanayin rayuwarsa na mutum ya ƙara wahalar neman sabon kulob. "Akwai abubuwa da yawa da suka faru a rayuwata ta mutum a wannan lokaci. Abubuwan da suka taƙaita inda zan iya tafi da abin da zan iya yi," in ji shi.

A duk lokacin kakar 2024/25, ya riƙe ƙarfin jikinsa ta hanyar horarwa a wani kulob — tsakanin tawagar farko da 'yan ƙasa da shekara 23 — ta hanyar hulɗar da ya gina tsawon shekaru. Duk da kasancewa cikin sifar mai kyau, duwatun damammaki da suka fito sun kasance nesa daga garinsa.

"A wannan lokaci, dole ne in fifita iyalina," ya ce. "Amma na kasance ina horo sau huɗu ko biyar a mako kuma ina da ƙarfi duk kakar wasa, shirye in fita a kowane lokaci."

Ya yabi matarsa, mahaifiyarsa, da mahaifinsa don tallafawa shi a mafi ƙarancin lokuta. "A ranaku mafi wahala, tana can don ba ni ƙarfin gwiwa. Mahaifiyata da mahaifinsa ba su da matakai. Ba tare da su ba, wane zai yi tunanin haka?"

Dubai da sabuntar manufa

Bazarar da ta gabata, Wickham ya hora tare da Bromley a lokacin shirye-shiryen kakar wasa kafin ya halarci sansanin PFA a Champneys Springs a Leicestershire. Wata burin da ya ci daga tsakiyar filin wasan ƙasa da 21 na Manchester United ya jawo hankalin mutane da yawa, kuma a watan Oktoba ya rattaba hannu da Dubai City a rukunin ƙwallon ƙafa na biyu na UAE.

Ƙwarewar kasashen waje ta ƙara maimaita son zuciyarsa maimakon ta gamsar da ita. "Nan da nan da na isa can, na gane yadda har yanzu ina da abubuwa da yawa da zan bayar," ya ce. "Zan ba salon rayuwar can 10 daga cikin 10, amma ga ni abu ne mai kama da wurin hutu fiye da wurin ƙwallon ƙafa."

Bukatun jiki, al'adar gasa, da tunani na cin nasara da yake nema sun mayar da shi zuwa ƙwallon ƙafa na Ingila. Yanzu yana shiga sansanin PFA na biyu a jere, kuma burinsa ya bayyana.

"Ban tsammanin ina da aiki da bai gama ba, amma ina tsammanin aikin da na yi bai ƙarewa ba. Har yanzu ina da abubuwa da yawa da zan yi."

Wickham ya jaddada yana imani da ingancin kansa kuma ya ƙi tunanin yin ritaya. "Sha'awa tana can, son wasa yana can kuma ban tsammanin zai tafi taɓas. Ina ƙonar sha'awa ta koma wasa."