Connor Wickham has spoken candidly about the 18 months he spent without a club following his departure from Charlton in the summer of 2024 — a period he describes as one of the most gruelling experiences of his career.

The 33-year-old striker, speaking to Sky Sports while driving down the M1 after a week at PFA pre-season, admitted that watching football from the sidelines became almost unbearable.

"I got to the point where I couldn't stand watching football because I knew I could do what I was watching other people do. It was like a torture session, almost like a jealousy thing. I want to play, I'm ready to play, I'm fit to play, I can do it."

A career derailed by injury

Wickham's story is one that stretches back a decade. Three months into his second season at Crystal Palace — having joined from Sunderland for £9m in the summer of 2015 — he ruptured his anterior cruciate ligament during a 5-4 Premier League defeat at Swansea. Between 26 November 2016 and Christmas Day 2018, he made just a single substitute appearance as setback followed setback.

"I was flying at that point," he said. "It was all starting to really, really come together. I was really coming to my peak. When I did that, it absolutely rocked me — and the rehab probably didn't help a lot. If I didn't do my ACL, I think I would have been on a completely different path."

A loan spell at Sheffield Wednesday in 2019/20 and a full season lost to injury preceded his release by Crystal Palace. Brief stints at Preston, MK Dons, Forest Green, Cardiff, and Charlton followed before the extended spell without a club that brought him to his lowest point.

Personal pressures and keeping the faith

Wickham revealed that personal circumstances compounded the difficulty of finding a new club. "I had quite a lot of stuff going on in my personal life at that time. There were bits going on that limited me to where I could go and what I could do," he said.

Throughout the 2024/25 season he kept himself fit by training at a club — a mix of first-team and under-23s sessions — through contacts he had built over the years. Despite remaining in shape, opportunities that did emerge were too far from home for him to pursue.

"At that time, I had to prioritise my family," he said. "But I was training four or five times a week and fit all season, so I was ready to go at whatever time."

He credits his wife, mother, and father with keeping him going through the darkest stretches. "On the down days, she's there to give me the little pep talks. My mum and dad are second-to-none. Without them, who knows?"

Dubai and a renewed sense of purpose

Last summer, Wickham trained with Bromley during pre-season before attending the PFA pre-season camp at Champneys Springs in Leicestershire. A goal scored from the halfway line against Manchester United's under-21s brought him widespread attention, and in October he signed for Dubai City in the second tier of UAE football.

The experience abroad sharpened rather than satisfied his ambitions. "As soon as I got there, I realised how much I've still got left to give," he said. "I'd give the lifestyle a 10 out of 10, but it's more of a holiday place than a football place for me."

The physical demands, competitive culture, and winning mentality he craves pointed him back toward English football. He is now back at PFA pre-season for a second year running, and his goal is clear.

"I don't think I've got unfinished business, but I think my career is unfinished. I've still got loads to do."

Wickham insists he still believes in his quality and refuses to entertain the idea of stopping. "The drive is still there, the passion is still there and I don't think that's ever going to go away. I'm chomping at the bit to get back in."